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Schema Couples Therapy

Schema Couples Therapy is a powerful intervention for focusing on interpersonal problems between two people, usually partners. This form of couples therapy is rarely available in the U.K. Treatment focuses on employing the schema mode model to explain the interpersonal difficulties experienced between partners, working both together and individually as required. This is a unique format of therapy, since both parties in the relationship learn to understand their own and their partner’s modes, and how these may become stuck in unproductive cycles and mode clashes. 

Schema Couples Therapy involves blending couples appointments with individual sessions. I work on the basis that both individuals are seen independently for individual therapy first, prior to potentially proceeding to couples work. The precise format needed may vary significantly, depending on each person’s need for individual work to address their own schema-driven reactions. 

Couples work focuses more on the patterns of discord in a relationship than than the content of specific disagreements. By understanding how disagreements are fuelled by each partner’s schemas and modes, attention is directed towards partner’s taking responsibility for their contribution to the problem. Therapy proceeds to help both partners to establish how they can work together to better meet on another’s emotional needs in their relationship.

Couples Therapy progresses through three broad stages of intervention:

  1. Education and awareness of the couple’s mode cycles and clashes
  2. Rebalancing the power dynamics between partners
  3. Reconnection and training – developing and rekindling connection and intimacy

If you would like to consider Schema Couples Work, first discuss this with the person you’d like to join you in therapy. If you’re both willing to undertake individual work prior to potentially proceeding to couples work, then we may have the basis for a joint therapy. I reserve the right to decide whether or not I’m willing to proceed to couples work, depending on my assessment of each partner’s willingness to take responsibility for their side in the dynamic.